Friday, June 22, 2012

Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning

Today is the day of my graduation. Even if I'm not going to the ceremony [please don't ask why] I feel blessed and loved from people around me. It hasn't hit me yet, that I've graduated high school. I think I'll completely realize it only in September, when I'll be going to university. Btw - I totally changed my plans for my future, but I'll wrote that in some other post. :) Today I'm not writing anything too long. I just wanted to let everyone know, that I am happy for all the friends and family I have :) I love you all so much and you are amazing and I'm happy I have you all in my life :) 

Peace, and much love :)
-B-


Monday, June 11, 2012

today is a perfect day for a perfect day :)

So, my last post was super sad and stuff, BUT! life has been absolutely good after that. My relationship with my mom is perfect  and we are all living happy ever after ;D

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I recently started to be scared of the future. All I've left is this free summer and than in September it's school again. Plus half of July I'll have to deal with all the papers and everything. Sometimes I truly wish I could escape this part where I have to study and just teleport myself to the future where I already have a good job and I can take care of myself. But, then I think about all the cool stuff I can do while I'm a student. I will still have free time to relax and my only worry will be school. And nothing else. So I decided not to think about future for a while. And just live for the moment. And I discovered that Life is awesome :) 

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laugh of the day:

Today is my parents wedding anniversary, so KISSES MOM AND DAD :)

so I made a cake for them. and all I can say is LOL! ;D

you cannot give me all kinds of cute stuff. let me explain - I recently went to a grocery store. I shouldn't have done that ;D cause there was a sale on cake supplies. All kinds of glazes,  frosting markers, sprinkles... it was all there! and of course I took everything ;D 

So when I was making a cake today, of course, I used everything! ;D I was like a little kid with markers and pencils. I just went nuts. I put on chocolate glaze, covered it with thousands of rainbow sprinkles and to top that, I totally messed with frosting markers ;D 

And that is how world's most ugliest cake was made ;D

-but, I figured, since they're my parents, they'll have to like it no matter what ;D

 [I can't stop laughing about it ;D ]

Have an awesome day everybody :)

-B- 

Thursday, June 7, 2012

I hate days like this...

I made my mom cry today.

And may I say - it was the worst feeling in the whole wide world. But the thing that worries me the most, is that I don't have the courage to even apologize to her. Whenever I've done something, I just leave it... Sooner or later we start talking again and everything goes back to normal. But when I really think of this, I'm ashamed that our relationships are like this. 

I would love to go to her, hug her and say MOM, I'M SO SORRY. But I never do it. Why? Because I'm afraid she might reject me. I know this sounds stupid, cause , come on, she's my mom. How could she, right? But she has that kind of character, which I cannot explain. I truly don't know how she would react. Of course she's hugged me before when I feel down. But that's not the same as when we fight.

Another thing - I have never said I LOVE YOU to my mom. To be honest - I have never said it to anyone. And I don't think anyone has ever said that to me either. On this years mothers day I got my mom the biggest bouquet of tulips and I even made a speech, which included those words. But when I got to my mom, all I said was CONGRATS! and gave her the flowers and a kiss.

Days like this just make me feel like I'm the worst person in the world.And I couldn't find the courage to change something...

That was until 5 minutes ago! Since I was feeling totally bad for everything that happened today, I just went to a store, bought the most beautiful flower I could find, came home, gave it to my mom and said MOM, I'M SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING.and hugged her. Than she cried and I cried and than I laughed cause I cry really ugly ;D

Anyway, today is the day when I overcame my fears and I am so glad I did, cause there is nothing better than pure love :)


take care,
-B-