As much as I'm trying to stay positive, there is so much shit going on and I can't take it anymore.
There is no more idiotic education system in the whole world like in Latvia. And now, due to a reform in the system, I will probably have to figure out what to do next year, cause my program will probably be shut down. I get that some changes are needed, but why is it needed to mess up everything for those, who have already started something?
I'm devastated right now, cause if this happens, what the hell am I going to do? I'll have waisted a YEAR of my life. For nothing. And the thought of that just makes me angry.
I know that everything can still change, cause it's not the final word. But yet, I see no hope in all this and the stress is killing me. I can only be positive for this long. And it scares me to be this grey person. Cause I don't want to be like this. But I can't seem to snap out of it... I seriously need a friendly help. All heroes please apply!
-B-
I wish I could solve your problem, but I can't. All I can say is, "Welcome to the world of stupid adult decisions!"
ReplyDeleteI often feel I can't snap out of it (whatever "it" might be), but things always get better eventually. Perhaps you need to speak to a doctor or therapist or school counselor. As for your program, if you learned anything at all, then the year wasn't wasted. You are a sweetheart, and you are going to be okay. I promise.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I don't think it's that serious. I just needed someone to say that everything is going to be ok :)
DeleteThank you :)
Dear Baiba, one thing I'd like to suggest if that you say a mantra something like this following: "Infinite Spirit (or whatever you call the Power beyond yourself), thank you for manifesting in my life the education I need or something even better." Write this on a sheet of paper and tape it to the refrigerator or the mirror in the bathroom. Then say the words out loud every time you pass the refrigerator or that mirror.
ReplyDeleteAnd please know, Baiba, that there are no wasted years. All works out to good in the long run. That's been my belief all my life and as the years have passed I've seen again and again that something that seemed tragic in my life did bring good into it. We--you and I--just need patience. And patience is hard come by when you're young. But try please to be patient with yourself. Peace.
thank you so much Dee for yor advice and lovely comment :) I will try your suggestion :) And hopefully this is all for the best :)
DeleteBaiba darling listen to me. I've been told to give up so many times that sometimes it seems that would be the easy thing to do. However, I have found that if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep trying that in my darkest and bleakest moments, something happens to change things for the good. I will tell you this. Getting an education is never wasted time. It may seem like it but trust me it's not. You are a smart, sweet and gentle natured girl. Do not let them beat you down. Find a way around whatever it is they are doing. You can do this. I have faith in you. If I can figure out a computer at my age you can figure out how to beat this. Hold your head up. Smile when you want to cry and remember that I am thinking of you and praying for you. Love you sweet girl.
ReplyDelete