Thursday, August 29, 2013

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself

It's 6am and I'm STILL awake. I've already lost count on how many nights it's been like this. And since I can't sleep I might as well write.

Million different thoughts are running through my head and they are freaking me out. Why is it that whenever something bad happens or you're feeling bad, more and more things go wrong all at the same time? It's like the universe is thinking "Hey, things are already crappy for her. Lets make it worse. It'll be fun!" 

This week has been a complete bust. Except for few moments. University starts on September 2nd and I'm moving into dorms on Sunday.  I'm a super private and shy person so the fact that I'll be living in a small room with a complete stranger stresses me out. Also I've had trouble with the previous university. The Tourism program director hates me because I left. And now she's trying to do everything possible to make me regret leaving that place. Little does she know that her actions actually make me feel happier about my decision. But I guess that's just life. Full of Arrogant and nasty people. 

Also things at home are not so great and I don't even know what's going on here. I can't explain it cause I don't understand it. All I know is that something is bothering my parents but no-one is talking to anyone in this house. So I'm just letting it be. 

And to top all of this crap - I'm sick!!! And this is the thing that's stressing me out the most because I'm already scared of the new beginning at new university, living in dorms and all, and now I have to start with a cold! which just adds extra stress to everything. So basically I'm eating pills and drinking tea cause I have to get well in two days! 

The only good thing is that I have some friends who are pulling me out of all this. I found time to go to a hockey game, went on a road-trip to the sea and today I got invited to a Pancake Afternoon. So I guess not everything is so bad after all. If only I could get some sleep!

-B- 

P.S. I know this is one of those weird posts when you don't know what to say other than "it's going to be ok" etc. So don't feel pressured to comment. This post is more for me... Take care :) 

Monday, August 5, 2013

I have a habit of caring too much!

First, some good news -->

I posted some time ago that I wanted to get into a different university for Translation program. Guess what? I GOT ACCEPTED! And not only that - I got into Budget group again, which means - free studies! This is because I'm a Nerd, as Haritha said, lol. My grades are really good and that is one thing that's appreciated in universities here. I'm excited. And scared. But mostly excited. :) So in 4 years I'll have my Bachelor's degree in Translation. [Hopefully]. I don't like the 4 year thing, but that's what it is in Latvia...

Now, on to the story...

My kindness has no limits and it scares me sometimes cause it might just get me into trouble someday. I care too much for everything and everyone on this planet. For example, if I see a dead dog, bird or even a frog on the road I will feel bad for the whole day. Or even if I see an alive animal all alone on the street - I will feel sorry for it. This has happened a lot. And I can't help it. Just like I can't help the feeling I get when I see old people walking alone with huge grocery bags. It breaks my heart to drive by them in my car when they have to walk. I always want to just stop and ask if I can help them. Of course I never do, cause I'm too shy. That was 'til today.

I was just coming home from work when I saw this old lady who was walking with a walker. She was small, her back was bent and she was walking really slow. I felt so bad for her that I decided to actually do what I always want to do when I see someone like that. So I stopped and said: "Good day. Can I give you a ride?"

She came closer and said: "Oh, no, thank you. No need to bother that much." And just when I was about to close the window, she started telling me all about her life, family, childhood etc. So half an hour later I found myself listening to stories about her younger days and how she has traveled a lot. She even spent some time in Armenia together with some -soon to be- Astronauts. And how she was deported to Siberia when she was 10 and got back when she was 16. And now she wants to get insurance for her house etc...

There I was, in the middle of the street, listening to her stories. When all I asked was if she wanted a ride. It was quite funny and interesting at the same time. And sad a bit too. Because I think some old folks have no-one to talk to and they are happy to tell everything to the first person who is ready to listen. 

Lucky for her, I'm always ready to listen. Besides - I'm too nice to not to listen, anyway. 

This was one strange day for me. But on the bright side - I did overcome my shyness and finally just stopped to offer my help. :)

Take care,
-B-