How I lost my best friend

To let you completely understand everything, I have to give you a back story and a back-back story ;D

The back-back story is short. I’ve never been the most thin girl…but I’m trying to live with it. Although it is hard, because it seems that it bothers other people. I don’t know why though, cause it doesn’t bother me that they are thin, so…who knows… Until the age of 13 or something, I have been called so many names, I could write a book full with them.  I had like few friends but I was never a part of some clique. I was always by myself.

So now the back story. Everything changed when I was in 8th grade. I don’t know how, but I suddenly had many friends, and people actually liked me. All the cool kids wanted to hang with me and we became friends. I never joined there clique though. For me – I wasn’t then and even now I’m not in any of those. Why? You might ask…It’s simple. I am and always will be myself. I’ve been called in so many names, why should I add one more? The cool kid, the geek, the…whatever…I don’t need it. So now I’m simply myself. I hang and get well with everybody and I’m glad I’m not part of any of the cliques. And it seems right.

So at that time it was so cool for girls my age to have a best friend. And the great part was that I had one too. We were best friends for two years and everything was so perfect. HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE WAS REALLY YOUR BEST FRIEND? You might ask. Well, It’s simple. You know, when the silence between you is not awkward. And that’s how I felt. We were like one soul in two bodies :) we liked the same music, the same things, we were always hanging out, laughing, telling secrets,knowing we could trust each other, and sometimes, we could just sit in silence and it was not awkward. No words were necessary. (sounds like a love story, right? Lol ;D )

So anyway, those two years were perfect. I was so happy I had found my best friend. And then came the 9th grade graduation. The coolest guy in class invited both of us to his party. His parents owns a cafe/bar and all the cool kids from school and neighborhood were invited so we were super excited to be a part of that.

And then comes the part where I’ll tell you about the one thing I really really regret in my life.

Since we were 15,and everyone was young and crazy and loved to party, and there were no parents, we were drinking alcohol. And because I’ve never partied with all the cool kids before, I thought it was so cool to drink and party. And so I did. I’m not gonna lie – I’ve been drinking before but NEVER like that… I was drinking everything anyone gave me so soon enough I got really really drunk. First I fell asleep in the toilet. Then on the couch… I was a mess.

My loving parents, trusting me with being a young adult, told me I can party til 5 am. (they thought I was in prom)

Later, I don’t know why, but I left the party thinking I was going home. But I didn’t get there. It was raining, and I was really drunk and I sat down next to the local store. And I fell asleep.

(It is so hard to tell this, because it is the most embarrassing thing in my life.) I woke up in my dads car when he was driving me home. Turns out I had been sleeping there for three hours. It was 9 am when my dad found me sleeping there and took me home. I was wet, drunk, with puke all over my clothes and hair. When I entered my house, my mom was crying and yelling at me and…it was so terrible. I just went in bed crying…

After few hours I got up and discovered something more. I had lost my purse with my wallet and cell phone in it. But I did find it. Turns out I had left it at the bar…

I survived my worst day in my life. But the next day wasn’t any better. My best friend called me and we talked about everything that happened because obviously I didn’t remember anything… She told me how I was drinking and everything else… but then she got to the part that hurt me so bad…I will never forget it.

„So, about 6 am you left the party.You told me you were going home. ” she said. „At about 7 am my dad picked me up and we were driving home.” And here’s the best/worst part „. I saw you sleeping next to the store, BUT DON’T WORRY, MY DAD DIDN’T SEE YOU.”

How awesome was that? She was more worried about what her dad would think if he had saw me, than worried about me, sleeping there in rain, drunk, where police could have picked me up any time. And she didn’t even felt sorry for that. The one time I really needed her, she left me alone.

It's weird now. We are still friends, and the sad part is that the silence between us still isn't awkward. We talk about everything and laugh together.But it's not like it used to be.

I regret everything I did that night, but my biggest regret is putting my family through all this. They didn't deserve it. And I'm truly sorry about that. 

So that is how I lost my best friend. :( since then, such term doesn’t exist for me anymore. It’s just not worth it.

Have you ever lost dear friend?

-B- 

Here's a picture of us in Paris. (Good times)