Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Boiling blood and big decisions...

I'm usually one of those people who can almost accept anything. Whether it's a situation, a fact or a person. But to my surprise, there is also a limit for me. 

Five months ago I started my first year at university. Many different thoughts went through my mind. I didn't know what to expect. But then somehow everything settled for me. I got in, first of all, my sister did as well, we got this amazing apartment and we don't have to pay rent... it seemed almost perfect... 

I thought university is the place where grown up people go. You know...the kind who is interested in many things, open-minded, fascinated by what the world has for them. Turns out that's just me and my sister. The rest of my classmates are just bunch of idiots who don't care about anything else besides drinking. They aren't interested in anything, so my question remains WHY ON EARTH ARE THEY STUDYING TOURISM? cause I can't understand it. They don't want to travel, they know nothing about the world  and they don't want to know. If you think I'm exaggerating, let me tell you a little back-story... [I'll make it short, I promise]

We were going on a field trip to a Tourism exhibition, and one guy from my group got really drunk at 9 am. Then he started saying some nice things to one girl "Hey, wanna suck my dick?" "We will totally have sex" etc.

Plus he stank like hell! So me and my sister got out of the bus halfway and I called my friend and we continued our trip with her....

And if you think THAT'S JUST ONE GUY. then the rest of them is like this - WHAT IS THE LOUVRE? hope you got my point :)

________

I'm not used to being around stupid people...Who panic when the English teacher tells them to read a book. A BOOK? WHAT'S THAT?

So all these five months I've been telling myself IT'S NOT SO BAD...but the truth is - it is so bad! Today I got in such funk, I still haven't snapped out of it. I couldn't talk to anyone and honestly, I just want to escape! For the first time in my life, I was crying because I want to leave but I can't! Yet...


I usually don't regret things. I believe that if something made you happy at least for a moment, you should never regret it. But I really regret applying for this university. I regret coming here. Because there has never been a moment when I've felt happy in that building. I all five months. Not a single one moment of joy.

But, as I sit here, crying and cursing everything ;D I still try to see something good in everything. 
In January I applied to Coventry University, UK. In the beginning, I was super scared of the thought of moving away etc. But now I feel that every idiotic thing that happens here, is an incentive for me to go away. The more unhappy I am here, the more I want to leave...

So now I just have to get out of this terrible mood of mine and start being happy again. Thankfully I have some great books to help me do that :) I should make a list so I can keep an order ;D
For now it's
*Fifty shades of grey
*Pride and prejudice
*Jane Eyre

...

If you have any suggestions - go ahead. I could read books all day :) 

now to end this terribly sad post, I can tell that thankfully I have some great friends who I can do weird, spontaneous stuff with. Like driving to the sea at midnight in a blizzard :) 

Take care, everyone :)
-B-  

P.S. I'm heading to all your amazing blogs right now. I know I've missed some great stuff :)