Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Boiling blood and big decisions...

I'm usually one of those people who can almost accept anything. Whether it's a situation, a fact or a person. But to my surprise, there is also a limit for me. 

Five months ago I started my first year at university. Many different thoughts went through my mind. I didn't know what to expect. But then somehow everything settled for me. I got in, first of all, my sister did as well, we got this amazing apartment and we don't have to pay rent... it seemed almost perfect... 

I thought university is the place where grown up people go. You know...the kind who is interested in many things, open-minded, fascinated by what the world has for them. Turns out that's just me and my sister. The rest of my classmates are just bunch of idiots who don't care about anything else besides drinking. They aren't interested in anything, so my question remains WHY ON EARTH ARE THEY STUDYING TOURISM? cause I can't understand it. They don't want to travel, they know nothing about the world  and they don't want to know. If you think I'm exaggerating, let me tell you a little back-story... [I'll make it short, I promise]

We were going on a field trip to a Tourism exhibition, and one guy from my group got really drunk at 9 am. Then he started saying some nice things to one girl "Hey, wanna suck my dick?" "We will totally have sex" etc.

Plus he stank like hell! So me and my sister got out of the bus halfway and I called my friend and we continued our trip with her....

And if you think THAT'S JUST ONE GUY. then the rest of them is like this - WHAT IS THE LOUVRE? hope you got my point :)


I'm not used to being around stupid people...Who panic when the English teacher tells them to read a book. A BOOK? WHAT'S THAT?

So all these five months I've been telling myself IT'S NOT SO BAD...but the truth is - it is so bad! Today I got in such funk, I still haven't snapped out of it. I couldn't talk to anyone and honestly, I just want to escape! For the first time in my life, I was crying because I want to leave but I can't! Yet...

I usually don't regret things. I believe that if something made you happy at least for a moment, you should never regret it. But I really regret applying for this university. I regret coming here. Because there has never been a moment when I've felt happy in that building. I all five months. Not a single one moment of joy.

But, as I sit here, crying and cursing everything ;D I still try to see something good in everything. 
In January I applied to Coventry University, UK. In the beginning, I was super scared of the thought of moving away etc. But now I feel that every idiotic thing that happens here, is an incentive for me to go away. The more unhappy I am here, the more I want to leave...

So now I just have to get out of this terrible mood of mine and start being happy again. Thankfully I have some great books to help me do that :) I should make a list so I can keep an order ;D
For now it's
*Fifty shades of grey
*Pride and prejudice
*Jane Eyre


If you have any suggestions - go ahead. I could read books all day :) 

now to end this terribly sad post, I can tell that thankfully I have some great friends who I can do weird, spontaneous stuff with. Like driving to the sea at midnight in a blizzard :) 

Take care, everyone :)

P.S. I'm heading to all your amazing blogs right now. I know I've missed some great stuff :)


  1. There ARE schools where people want to learn. I hope you find one!!

  2. There should be limits. Perfectly bright & normal of you. You can't spin the character flaws of these people into assets & you should not try to. You are too smart & wise to succumb to these sort of negative influences. They may have problmes, but you are right on track. ~Mary

  3. Yeah some people, actually many people will always be there to drive you insane.

  4. Nice to see you back but sorry you are unhappy at university. It sounds like this is where all those holiday rep wankers learn their trade.

  5. Dear Baiba, I'm sorry to learn that the other students aren't interested, as you are, in learning. And that they simply want to drink. My one concern is that you'll find the same in Coventry. And yet, I do applaud your having the courage to take a risk and to go elsewhere. The thing is you need to keep looking for the rainbow!

    As to books, a writer who tells a contemporary story well is Rosamund Pilcher. Her books "Winter Solstice" and "The Shell Seekers" are worth a read. Peace.

  6. BAIBA!!:)
    never bother about others go ahead with your studies and hobbies!!! you know what, even i kinda feel little alien at my college...students are good but still..:)
    you are a strong girl and you remain unaffected by these kinda "companies" at university :)so proud of you.!
    and for the books,if you are interested in philosophy you can go for Paulo Coelho's . i like them...
    p.s. so you opted for tourism. great choice:)
    and you know what i actually read your post couple of days back itself,and then when i started to comment,i simply dodnt know what to type.. kinda starting know,its after a long time..1
    and thanks!! you gave the first comment!:)

    take care:)