Thursday, August 29, 2013

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself

It's 6am and I'm STILL awake. I've already lost count on how many nights it's been like this. And since I can't sleep I might as well write.

Million different thoughts are running through my head and they are freaking me out. Why is it that whenever something bad happens or you're feeling bad, more and more things go wrong all at the same time? It's like the universe is thinking "Hey, things are already crappy for her. Lets make it worse. It'll be fun!" 

This week has been a complete bust. Except for few moments. University starts on September 2nd and I'm moving into dorms on Sunday.  I'm a super private and shy person so the fact that I'll be living in a small room with a complete stranger stresses me out. Also I've had trouble with the previous university. The Tourism program director hates me because I left. And now she's trying to do everything possible to make me regret leaving that place. Little does she know that her actions actually make me feel happier about my decision. But I guess that's just life. Full of Arrogant and nasty people. 

Also things at home are not so great and I don't even know what's going on here. I can't explain it cause I don't understand it. All I know is that something is bothering my parents but no-one is talking to anyone in this house. So I'm just letting it be. 

And to top all of this crap - I'm sick!!! And this is the thing that's stressing me out the most because I'm already scared of the new beginning at new university, living in dorms and all, and now I have to start with a cold! which just adds extra stress to everything. So basically I'm eating pills and drinking tea cause I have to get well in two days! 

The only good thing is that I have some friends who are pulling me out of all this. I found time to go to a hockey game, went on a road-trip to the sea and today I got invited to a Pancake Afternoon. So I guess not everything is so bad after all. If only I could get some sleep!

-B- 

P.S. I know this is one of those weird posts when you don't know what to say other than "it's going to be ok" etc. So don't feel pressured to comment. This post is more for me... Take care :) 

3 comments:

  1. You're young--you'll snap back!!

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  2. If the lack of sleep continues after you move into the dorm, I suggest seeing a doctor. And maybe you should slow down a bit until the cold is better. I am a mom, and I know these things.

    Love,
    Janie

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  3. Dear Baiba, when I get down in the dumps because life is all at sixes and sevens and I can't make sense of it, I try to remember that every day the sun rises and the sun sets. That's a way of saying that all things end and begin. And that the worst of things will end and the best of things will begin--just not on our timetable because we don't have control of what the day will bring. I'm just going to suggest that you be open to the possibilities that will present themselves to you in school. Just open your heart to growth. I'm thinking of you. Peace.

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