Oh boy, it's been a couple of months...
And so much has happened, I'm not even sure where to start. First things first, Happy New Year to each and every one of you. I hope it has started out well and everyone is doing great. I've been away from the blogging world for a while because, well... for the first time in history - life happened!
Now let me fill you in on that dramatic statement. For a long time I've been calling myself an "emo hamster" who had no life. Meaning - I was a workaholic who lived at home with my parents, all comfy in my little "cage", stuffing my cheeks with food and meeting friends as rarely as possible. Life was very comfortable that way. I was living in a constant circle, like a hamster's wheel - eat, sleep, work, repeat. I've always been insecure about myself in every single way, so I've been avoiding people and public places as much as I can my whole life. I liked being alone. I still do. But before New Year's Eve I did a lot of thinking and came to a conclusion that I was in need of some change. I simply said to myself - 2018 is going to be MY year!
Honestly, everything happened so fast. In a blink of an eye I was a completely different person. I didn't just step outside my comfort zone. It was like I had tied that comfort zone to a balloon, let it go and watched it fly away and disappear into the abyss of the Universe.
I spent New Year's Eve with my best friend in Riga, which is the capital of Latvia. I've never even liked the city, yet here I was, an ex emo hamster, celebrating with million strangers side by side. I met many new interesting people, made new friends and even arranged a date at midnight because I was determined to get a New Year's kiss and, honestly - it was the best New Year's Eve in my life!
Next step was dealing with my confidence. My family booked a week long vacation in Canary Islands. Now, imagine someone who's completely insecure about her body being forced to relax by the pool under a palm tree, surrounded by many people. Day 1 was an emotional roller-coaster. I was super excited, since it was my first time in a place like that. But I was also panicking about the whole people/pool/sunbathing situation. But then my sister said those famous words - WHO THE HELL CARES? And I thought to myself - indeed. Nobody cares. Everyone is there to relax, have a great time and mind their own business. So why should I care? And just like that - I stopped. I truly stopped caring and I was laying by the pool the next morning with a cold beer in my hand, enjoying the view of the volcano without a single worry. (Beer was super cheap there and I was on a vacation, and it was super hot so don't judge me, people!)
My view every day for a week
Tenerife is the most beautiful place I've ever been to. So far. And I came back happier than ever, charged with positive energy and enough vitamin D to last a lifetime. Or at least a couple of months. Now, I know what you're thinking. Usually this whole - new year, new me - thing doesn't last long. And that was one of the things I was worried about. Since everything happened in full swing, I was scared my enthusiasm would burn out too fast. But then a week after I got back from the Canaries, my friend called and said: "Hey, I got a job offer in Riga. Wanna share an apartment with me?" And it took me only a couple of seconds before the new me was ready to jump into yet another adventure, the words came out themselves- WHY NOT? So as of February 1st I'm officially living in Riga.
It's been only a month, but my life is changing more and more each day. But it's all good stuff! Most of it is, at least. I've had some ups and downs, some tears, some laughs, some good events, some weird events, some dates and funny stories, but lets leave it for another post. For now I'm just happy that my wish is coming true day by day. 2018 IS my year. And I couldn't be happier. And I'm not writing this to brag; I just want others to know that it's possible to change your life and thinking for the better. And it is actually not that hard to just LET GO! Of everything. It's easier than we think. You just have to want it. For the first time in my life I truly understand the saying 'Let go - let God'. I'm a living example of it. Just let go, people. Let go of the fears and insecurities. Stop worrying what others think and just enjoy life!
I'm gonna finish on this spiritual, encouraging note and try to catch up with all your blogs. It's gonna take me some time, since I only stopped being an emo hamster, I never stopped being a workaholic, so I gotta combined work with reading. But I'll get to it!
Take care for now!
-B-
