Thursday, June 7, 2012

I hate days like this...

I made my mom cry today.

And may I say - it was the worst feeling in the whole wide world. But the thing that worries me the most, is that I don't have the courage to even apologize to her. Whenever I've done something, I just leave it... Sooner or later we start talking again and everything goes back to normal. But when I really think of this, I'm ashamed that our relationships are like this. 

I would love to go to her, hug her and say MOM, I'M SO SORRY. But I never do it. Why? Because I'm afraid she might reject me. I know this sounds stupid, cause , come on, she's my mom. How could she, right? But she has that kind of character, which I cannot explain. I truly don't know how she would react. Of course she's hugged me before when I feel down. But that's not the same as when we fight.

Another thing - I have never said I LOVE YOU to my mom. To be honest - I have never said it to anyone. And I don't think anyone has ever said that to me either. On this years mothers day I got my mom the biggest bouquet of tulips and I even made a speech, which included those words. But when I got to my mom, all I said was CONGRATS! and gave her the flowers and a kiss.

Days like this just make me feel like I'm the worst person in the world.And I couldn't find the courage to change something...

That was until 5 minutes ago! Since I was feeling totally bad for everything that happened today, I just went to a store, bought the most beautiful flower I could find, came home, gave it to my mom and said MOM, I'M SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING.and hugged her. Than she cried and I cried and than I laughed cause I cry really ugly ;D

Anyway, today is the day when I overcame my fears and I am so glad I did, cause there is nothing better than pure love :)


take care,
-B-  

9 comments:

  1. People--especially mothers--know when they are loved, BUT IT"S ALWAYS NICE TO HEAR!! Do it more often!! It will become easy.

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    1. I know I know. I have to do it more often, cause it makes me feel good too :)

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  2. See she didn't reject you. The fact that she has never said she loves you has made you fear tis rejection.

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  3. I think one of the sweetest things my daughter has done for me is write me an apology letter and tell me that she loved me. I still have that note. Never think you mother doesn't appreciate the words. As mothers we need to know we are loved. As fishducky said the words are important little one.

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    1. I know :) you moms are amazing ;D :)

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  4. Honestly it's all about those little moments in life when someone does or says something that makes you realize you are loved.
    Imagine one sentence said from heart expressing more than a million words could ever say. Everyone likes to hear those words.

    And Baiba, I love you. ;)

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  5. You did just the right thing...& the wrong things, well, we all do them all the time, but often we don't follow them up with the right thing.
    You did.

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