Saturday, July 5, 2014

Why? Why me?! :D

Oh wow. I've been gone for quite a while. But do not worry my fellow bloggers. I was here the whole time - reading and enjoying your posts :)

As for me, life is good. I just finished my first year at the new university. May I say - it was a great one. So much laughter, adventures and also tears of the pre-exam panic. One simply cannot live without them, lol. But I ended this year with good grades, wonderful memories and no regrets. And to think how scared and doubtful I was in the beginning... Random road trips, game nights, parties and jokes. That's how I'll remember it.I got to go on a vacation too, but I'll write about that in my next post. In this one I actually wanted to write about something that happened to me TODAY!

My high school Latvian teacher died on May 28th. I actually saw her in my dream that night! And as I once wrote in a post - I'm the queen of weird dreams. And I almost never see the dead. So that was freaky. Anyways...She was a special teacher to me and my class so of course I decided to attend her funeral. I don't know the traditions for funerals in other countries, but in Latvia, here's how it goes - everyone goes to the chapel and puts flowers on the floor around the coffin, then stands around the room for a little ceremony...


Now, I've told this before, but I'll say it again - I am the queen of all things awkward. This is not a joke and I'm not overreacting... (and I say I'm the queen of a lot of things, yet, I don't see a crown... Someone should do something about that, lol.) but it's true. If there ever is a possibility of something weird or awkward happening - it's gonna happen to me! Til this day I actually thought it had limits. Apparently not. 

... So I walked into the chapel with my friend, she put her flowers down and then it was my turn... As I crouched to put my flowers down, I suddenly lost balance and totally fell sideways on the floor... The most awkward part was that I couldn't get up... Someone helped me and I just wanted to walk outside as quickly as possible. The worst part is that I couldn't laugh because it was a funeral. My friend Linda already had tears in her eyes but even she wanted to laugh and it was so hard to contain ourselves... but we did. Now, of course, as I'm typing this, I'm laughing in tears as to how clumsy I was! The whole time I was standing there, I was thinking - why ?! why me?! :D 

At first I thought it was a huge embarrassment. Obviously all these people saw me and it was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life...so far. But then I thought about it a little... and I figured how to calm myself down. My teacher was always happy and smiling and joyful. She loved life and lived it to the fullest. And I'll never forget her cheerful laughter. And that's how I want to live my life. So as I look at my clumsy moment - it was a sign from above that this is exactly how I should remember this day. With a smile on my face because I had the honor of knowing her. Or at least that's what I'll keep telling myself to justify my clumsiness. Either way - I'll probably avoid public places for quite a while now. *facepalm*

-B- 

12 comments:

  1. I'd rather calculate pi in my head to 48 places than attend most social functions, so I can empathize. There is space to grieve, & space to laugh. You honor your teacher both ways. The people who claim to go thru life poised & confident all the time stretch credulity.

    So glad you are happy & doing well. ~Mary

    (don't bother looking for my blog, someone hijacked it recently & posted some very inappropriate things on it. I hadn't written on it since August of last year & it was supposed to have been deleted)

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    1. I'm not fond of social functions too but this just puts an end to it completely! :D

      And thank you, Mary :)
      Also - so sorry to hear about your blog. I surely miss your posts. But it's a good thing you're still here :)

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  2. I don't think you need to be concerned about what happened. People go to a funeral to remember and honor the person who has passed away. If they were staring at you, then they were probably thinking about how much you loved your teacher, not wondering why you were clumsy. Or maybe they thought you fell because you were grief stricken. It's okay to go out in public.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I hope they thought I got dizzy or something because that was pretty embarrassing :/ But honestly they seemed to be bunch of really polite people since no one laughed but myself. Or maybe they all just laughed inside. Either way it's a moment I'll never forget. as much I'd want to!

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  3. I'm the queen of clumsy moments, so I can completely understand! I once had a coughing fit in the middle of a funeral--and it was a packed room. I was in the center of a row of people I couldn't get out of. People generally understand--they're mostly concerned that you're okay!

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    1. this will sound bad, but - I'm glad I'm not the only one, lol.
      And yes people were nice in general. I think I wanted to laugh myself more than them.

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  4. haha well if anything you gave them something to laugh about later

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    1. I bet they did! Me and my friend burst out laughing the second we got in the car!

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  5. WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  6. So sorry about your teacher.
    Clumsiness is fine more often than we think. Just be yourself and remember people are too busy with their own thoughts and troubles to judge us. So be happy howeve you want to be.

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    1. Thank you :) And yeah I try to live that way. But this was still pretty embarrassing and I won't forget about it for quite a while, lol.

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