Is It Worth Being A Good Person?

Have you ever been so close to an emotional breakdown, that even the smallest thing like dropping your sandwich sends you on the floor, crying your eyes out?

That was me two days ago. The only good thing is, I'm a really ugly crier, so every time I start crying, I make myself laugh because of how ridiculous I look when I'm bawling.

The world is a scary place right now. And not because of the virus, but because of people. Obviously, everyone is aware that there are pretty bad people in this world, however, it takes a global epidemic to see how truly shitty the mankind can be. 

People are trying to scam those who help, trying to get some money, things or attention for no reason and so on. But what surprises me the most in this whole global mess, is how truly mean and pathetic some people can be. I usually don't read any news and specially the comments, simply because there is never anything good. It's mostly just lies and fabricated garbage, just to get people all riled up. However, since I live far away from my family and friends, I like to be updated on the current situation back at home, so I have to read the news whether I like it or not. But, unfortunately, the little devil in me makes me also click the comments, and that's where things start to go wrong.

There are so many articles about people not being able to get back home because the borders are closed. And to me that's sad and scary. But the comments mostly consist of: "It's your own fault. Stay where you are, we don't need you and the virus here. If you wanted to leave so bad, then don't come back. I hope you get the virus." Or, whenever there's an article about a politician or a celebrity getting the virus, people post comments like: "You deserve it! Finally! I hope you die!"

Now, the last one is the scariest one. How pathetic does ones life have to be in order to wish something so bad to someone else? This jealousy, this anger, spite and hatred towards someone they don't even know. Where is it coming from? And why? Why are there so many bad people in this world?

And this brings me back to my meltdown. I'm not claiming I'm an angel or a saint, however, my whole life I've tried to be a good person. I donate money to charities, I adopt animals instead of buying them, I've bought gifts to children for Christmas, I've bought food for a lot of homeless people, I always help all my friends and family and so on. Countless times people have told me that I'm actually too nice.

I do all this without expecting anything back, because I truly believe in Karma. And I can't complain about my life, because I know so many people have it way worse than I do. However, for the last couple of months, a lot of bad things have happened to me and my family. We barely get back on our feet from one problem when the next one occurs. So the other day, after months of stress and financial problems, when I dropped that sandwich, that was the tipping point. And as I sat on the floor, weeping in total defeat, I couldn't help but ask out loud: Why do bad things happen to good people? Is it even worth being a good person? 

And the answer is Yes. Here's the thing. I know I'm too nice, there's no denying it. I let people take advantage of me, I do work for my friends for free, I don't ask enough money for my work, because I hate asking people for money, I care too much about others and their problems, I've been scammed twice, because I only tend to see the good in people, and so on. Those are obviously my mistakes and I try to learn from them. BUT! I do think it's worth being a good person. Being good costs nothing, but it means everything. One act of kindness could brighten someone's day or even save someone's life. And if I can make even the smallest difference in a world full of grayness, I will do it. Being good makes me feel like there's hope. Hope for a better future, a better society. And if there's ever a time to quote a line from one of my favorite movies, this is it:

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies."
/Stephen King

Be good, be kind, be safe!

Take care.

-B-

A Morning Surprise

If I got a penny for every time something awkward or incredibly stupid happened to me, I would be on Forbes as the wealthiest / weirdest woman alive.

And this isn't one of those cute awkward stories. When you mix the ultimate awkwardness with shyness, insecurity, anxiety and clumsiness, you get the opposite of cute. You get ME! The amount of awkward situations I've got myself into is just ridiculous and I'm not sure what to blame. Is it me? Is it my fear of human interactions and lack of social skills? That can't be right... So the question remains - WHY ME?!

I'm not even going to list all the times I've tripped or knocked something over by simply being me. There was that one time I fell and laughed at a funeral, but people just assumed I fainted from all the emotions and were super nice to me and told me to sit. 

There was that time in Paris when a guy in McDonalds opened the trash can lid for me. I thought he was being super polite, so I poured my trash in, said the one word I knew in French - Merci - and walked away. As it turns out, his phone was on his plate and he had dropped it in with his trash, so he was about to fish it out. But instead he had to watch me pour my trash on top of his phone, smile, thank him and walk away. 

I am SO AWKWARD, I don't even know how to politely interact with people. I had a job interview on the phone and at the end of it, the guy said - thank you for your time, Ms. - to which I replied with - you're welcome. ONLY BECAUSE he kept calling me Ms. and was so formal and polite the whole time, I'm not used to it.

Okay, as I'm writing this, I get the feeling that it might be mostly my own fault. It's still debatable...

However, the surprising encounter this morning tops all of those above mentioned cases.

For the past 3 weeks, the apartment above ours has been under construction. Since I work from home, it's been a real nightmare, trying to translate under a constant noise. Then about a week ago, one of the workers told us that the water pipes in the bathroom have to be changed, so - some time in near future - they will work in our bathroom as well. No one said when exactly, no one said how long it will take, no one said anything. This morning, when Brian had left for work, I decided to sleep some more and get up around 9am. As I was drooling on my pillow, all snuggly in dream land, I got woken up by the sound of 3 male voices inside the apartment. The bedroom door was not fully shut, so I could hear them loud and clear. I got the courage to let out a quiet "hello?", to which all 3 men responded immediately. One of them shut the bedroom door, the other kept saying "oh my gosh", and the 3rd one said: "We told you we'll have to change the pipes! We knocked, but no one answered the door, so we let ourselves in!"

Now, I might come from a 2nd world country, but even there things are not handled this way. In my opinion, (correct me if I'm wrong) they should have come to us yesterday and told us that they're coming today. Not just knock a couple times at 8am and barge into someone's apartment without a warning.

Of course all the guys are really nice and I can laugh about it now, but this morning I was not that happy about this whole situation. And the worst part is, I don't speak German that well, so I have no idea what they're telling me. I don't know how long they'll be here, I don't know how long it will take to change the pipes, I don't know if we can use the bathroom... AND I REALLY NEED TO PEE!!!

I hope you're all having a better day.

I think I need a drink.

-B-

New Year, Old Me?

Greetings, people from far away lands! It is I, the weird raccoon-loving, positivity-leaking Latvian ray of sunshine!

I know it has been far too long since my last post. But for the first time in history I have actually been busy - [hold for a dramatic effect] - living my life! *gasp* (I hope at least one of you theatrically fainted somewhere in the distance).

But yes, it finally happened. I got a life.

A year ago I decided to stop being an anti-social hermit, pack my entire life in 1 suitcase and move to Germany. For someone who's been very comfortable living in the shadows her whole life, this was a giant step for me.

And here I am, a year later, living with the love of my life, three adopted kittens and a dream of moving to America! Oh, AND, a brand new slushy machine! So, cheers to a New Year!

Left to right: 

Amy (Ames, A-moosh),

Cooper (Coop, Coopowski, Coopman),

Reginald (Reggie, Ragout, Rigatoni)

Now, I know what you're all thinking - but Baiba, what about your love for dogs? Don't worry. Brian (he's real, I swear) promised me a house in the future for my 5 dogs. And possibly an alpaca? That topic is still to be discussed...

So that's what I've been doing for the past year - becoming the ultimate housewife, who's darn proud of her garden, three fluffy babies and a patient, wonderful man, who has the strength to keep up with her shenanigans, sarcasm and the never-ending supply of Christmas lights.

You might be wondering (you're probably not, but I'm gonna tell you anyways) why have I returned and what are my plans. Well...

This isn't going to be one of those - new year, new me - things. I don't want a completely new me and I don't plan on changing my entire personality or making promises and undertaking some New Year's resolutions, which I will most likely ditch within a week or two. I am already on a great path of self-discovery, growth and improvement since last year, so I just need to keep going in the right direction. However, there is one thing that has been on my mind for a long time now, and I feel like this could be The Year. It's my unconditional love for writing. I love writing. I love reading. I love reading what I and others have written. I love expressing myself in words, and I actually think I'm quite good at it. I love the English language and I think I can express myself in it the best. It's one of the reasons I became a translator. I love sharing my stories and positivity with others, and maybe even inspire someone out there. That's why my dream has always been to become a writer. I just never knew what to write about, in what form and how. I always doubted myself, thinking no one will care or enjoy my writing anyways, I'm not good enough or funny, or smart, it's just a waste of time. But, NO MORE! I am making it happen this year. Whether it's through frequent blog posts, articles or even my own book on how to tame a wild raccoon - mark my words, people, I will write this year!

Now all that's left is to shoo Cooper off my laptop, make a fresh batch of delicious flavored ice, crack my knuckles (figure of speech, as I hate the sound of cracking knuckles) and get to work!

But first I have to go check all your blogs and see what you've all been up to!

I hope you had a wonderful year!

But for now, take care!

-B-