Time to say good bye...

So this is my last post…

…Before my trip to Germany, and before school starts.

  

(Got you worried there for a second, didn’t I? ;D )

As much as I don’t like getting up this early (it’s 5 AM) I’m so excited this time. After few hours I will be on a plane to Germany to visit my sister. (If you haven’t read about me and her, you should check this out )

But I’m also nervous, cause I’ve never been on a plane before…this will be my first time, and I’m going on my own :/ it’s a bit scary, but still…exciting.

So I’m leaving this place:

(yeah, I know what you’re thinking OMG,IT’S SO SMALL…but cute, right? ;D )

 

for whole two weeks.

I will be back right on time. In Latvia school starts on September 1st. And since this is my last year of high school, and there will be all the exams and other stuff, this trip is in perfect timing. I will return completely relaxed and happy and ready for everything my last year brings for me :)

I won’t post though, during those two weeks. But I promise I’ll try to read all your posts and leave some comments. :) And then, when I’m back, I’ll let you all know how my trip was.

So take care everybody :)

See you all in two weeks :)

 

-B- 

Do all little girls dream about the same things?

If you ever think HEY,THAT GUY ON TV FLIPPED THOSE PANCAKES SO COOL, WHY DON’T I DO THE SAME WITH MY OMELET?! My suggestion is – if you’re not a pro flipper, DON’T EVER DO THAT. Otherwise you’ll end up like me – cleaning the stove, the walls, the floor and yourself. ;D

Thank God I don’t have to cook that often, cause I would probably spend most of the time cleaning the kitchen ;DD

Don’t get me wrong, I love to cook. Just not every day. I don’t like making those regular meals. That job I leave to my mom. But once in a while I find some interesting recipe and I try it out. I love to cook something new and never tasted. I don’t know how well I make those foods, but my family always eat everything. I think they are just being nice ;D Or maybe the food isn’t that bad, who knows ;D

When I was younger I wanted to be a pro chef. But then again, I also wanted to be a doctor and a hairdresser and many other things ;D

But, whats weird, when I was a little girl, I NEVER wanted to be a princess or a ballerina, like most girls these days. At one point I wanted to be a sportswoman.

Now when I look at little girls, they are dressed in pink, with curls in their hair and they talk about how they want to be princesses…

I don’t like pink color now and didn’t even then. I was running around with boys playing some games. I was even teaching my cousins how to throw somersaults, which was silly cause they are 7 years older than me ;D

So…was it strange? Were I the only little girl who didn’t dream about becoming a princess? Or were there others like me? ;D           

-B- 

How I lost my best friend

To let you completely understand everything, I have to give you a back story and a back-back story ;D

The back-back story is short. I’ve never been the most thin girl…but I’m trying to live with it. Although it is hard, because it seems that it bothers other people. I don’t know why though, cause it doesn’t bother me that they are thin, so…who knows… Until the age of 13 or something, I have been called so many names, I could write a book full with them.  I had like few friends but I was never a part of some clique. I was always by myself.

So now the back story. Everything changed when I was in 8th grade. I don’t know how, but I suddenly had many friends, and people actually liked me. All the cool kids wanted to hang with me and we became friends. I never joined there clique though. For me – I wasn’t then and even now I’m not in any of those. Why? You might ask…It’s simple. I am and always will be myself. I’ve been called in so many names, why should I add one more? The cool kid, the geek, the…whatever…I don’t need it. So now I’m simply myself. I hang and get well with everybody and I’m glad I’m not part of any of the cliques. And it seems right.

So at that time it was so cool for girls my age to have a best friend. And the great part was that I had one too. We were best friends for two years and everything was so perfect. HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE WAS REALLY YOUR BEST FRIEND? You might ask. Well, It’s simple. You know, when the silence between you is not awkward. And that’s how I felt. We were like one soul in two bodies :) we liked the same music, the same things, we were always hanging out, laughing, telling secrets,knowing we could trust each other, and sometimes, we could just sit in silence and it was not awkward. No words were necessary. (sounds like a love story, right? Lol ;D )

So anyway, those two years were perfect. I was so happy I had found my best friend. And then came the 9th grade graduation. The coolest guy in class invited both of us to his party. His parents owns a cafe/bar and all the cool kids from school and neighborhood were invited so we were super excited to be a part of that.

And then comes the part where I’ll tell you about the one thing I really really regret in my life.

Since we were 15,and everyone was young and crazy and loved to party, and there were no parents, we were drinking alcohol. And because I’ve never partied with all the cool kids before, I thought it was so cool to drink and party. And so I did. I’m not gonna lie – I’ve been drinking before but NEVER like that… I was drinking everything anyone gave me so soon enough I got really really drunk. First I fell asleep in the toilet. Then on the couch… I was a mess.

My loving parents, trusting me with being a young adult, told me I can party til 5 am. (they thought I was in prom)

Later, I don’t know why, but I left the party thinking I was going home. But I didn’t get there. It was raining, and I was really drunk and I sat down next to the local store. And I fell asleep.

(It is so hard to tell this, because it is the most embarrassing thing in my life.) I woke up in my dads car when he was driving me home. Turns out I had been sleeping there for three hours. It was 9 am when my dad found me sleeping there and took me home. I was wet, drunk, with puke all over my clothes and hair. When I entered my house, my mom was crying and yelling at me and…it was so terrible. I just went in bed crying…

After few hours I got up and discovered something more. I had lost my purse with my wallet and cell phone in it. But I did find it. Turns out I had left it at the bar…

I survived my worst day in my life. But the next day wasn’t any better. My best friend called me and we talked about everything that happened because obviously I didn’t remember anything… She told me how I was drinking and everything else… but then she got to the part that hurt me so bad…I will never forget it.

„So, about 6 am you left the party.You told me you were going home. ” she said. „At about 7 am my dad picked me up and we were driving home.” And here’s the best/worst part „. I saw you sleeping next to the store, BUT DON’T WORRY, MY DAD DIDN’T SEE YOU.”

How awesome was that? She was more worried about what her dad would think if he had saw me, than worried about me, sleeping there in rain, drunk, where police could have picked me up any time. And she didn’t even felt sorry for that. The one time I really needed her, she left me alone.

It's weird now. We are still friends, and the sad part is that the silence between us still isn't awkward. We talk about everything and laugh together.But it's not like it used to be.

I regret everything I did that night, but my biggest regret is putting my family through all this. They didn't deserve it. And I'm truly sorry about that. 

So that is how I lost my best friend. :( since then, such term doesn’t exist for me anymore. It’s just not worth it.

Have you ever lost dear friend?

-B- 

Here's a picture of us in Paris. (Good times)

It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

I am proud to live in a world where technology is in such progress. It keeps growing and growing every day.  The big computer box has been compressed into something so little that fits in my palm, cars are so smart these days that they tell us where to go and not the other way around…and so much amazing other stuff have developed…

However, what makes me mad, is that there are still so many illnesses that can’t be completely cured, only partly. Or there are medicine for not making it worse, but at the same time not making it better. Only for keeping it stable. And that isn’t quite enough for me.

There are so many people in this world who has to deal with illnesses that can’t be completely cured…They just have to live with it. And I am one of them.

Few years ago I discovered I have psoriasis. For those who don’t know what it is – it’s  a not contagious, chronic immune-mediated disease that appears on the skin. But the sentence that made me say WHAT THE HELL was „The cause of psoriasis is not fully understood”. Turns out some people just have it and others just don’t. So I don’t know what I did to be honored with this „gift”.

Most people have it on their body, but I’m a bit „luckier” to have it on my head, cause I have medicine that partly cures it so that it’s not visible. Those who have it on their bodies have much more struggle. But still…I have to deal with this my whole life. I have to buy special shampoo that smells like skunks arm pit, and use special drops (that don’t cost cheap).  So whenever I stop using those, my head will look terrible. I’m only 18 and I have to think about how to ensure myself with these things for all my life… Plus, it gets worse with stress. But how can I live without stress, when I have to deal with this? ;D It’s like a circle… I can’t stress about it, but since I have it, I am stressing about it ;D

But, there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only say IT SUCKS. And I feel sorry for people who have to live with something much worse. For them I can only say GOOD LUCK.  However, there are people who are healthy but they still whine about everything. For those I can only say SHUT UP, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LUCKY YOU ARE FOR BEING „JUST” HEALTHY.

Am I right? ;D

-B- 

Laughter is a form of communication.

What can be more awesome than Sunday barbeque with friends and family?

Yesterday was soo relaxing and SUNNY! Finally, after a long long time I saw the sun ;DD

_________________________________________________

You know how they say that laughter is the best medicine, and that those who laugh will live longer? Well...I don't wanna brag, but I think I might be immortal ;DD

I spend 90% of my life laughing. Yeah it’s kinda awesome, but  also insane ;D sometimes I laugh for so long, my jaw hurt ;D

So why I brought this up? Because I remembered yesterday.

I’ve started my career as a personal driver for my whole family ;D And yesterday I took my dad to the store to buy some groceries. We needed some tomatoes so being a good child ;D I went to get some. When I put the fourth tomato into the bag, I asked my dad:"Will 4 be enough?" Imagine my surprise, when I turned around and it wasn’t my dad standing next to me, but a total stranger. The second I realized my dad wasn’t even near me, the old man said:„I think you should put in two or three more. You know how much I like tomatoes”. I smiled and said:„Ok, but I’m not taking the big ones .” and then we both just burst out laughing.

This kind of things happens to me and my family all the time. I think they happen to every one of us.

But I gotta say, I just LOVE it

 When an awkward moment makes two complete STRANGERS laugh TOGETHER in the middle of the store

Don't you? :)

-B-