Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless.

Today is such a beautiful day...
too bad I have to sit in my room and study...A LOT... damn you school, damn you!
besides, how can I think about learning when it's so warm and sunny outside?
Actually, I can't concentrate to anything right now. I don't even know what to write, what to say or what to do. Lately I've been feeling empty. like all my positive energy, all my strength, imagination and inspiration has been sucked out of me.
I don't know if I can handle everything that's going on. Right now I feel like giving up. Cause I'm tired of trying. Every time I try to do the right thing - it just backfires at me. I try too much to make others happy. 
For me - others always come first, and only then it's me. But it's been like that for so long, it's not working for me anymore, cause I'm not happy.
So maybe it's time for me to become a bit more selfish...
Not like...bitch selfish... I just have to think about myself and learn to say NO from time to time, because I feel like most of the time people are using my niceness. And I'm not ok with that anymore.

Hopefully, I'll achieve and get my strength,positiveness and inspiration back.  

P.S. recently saw "Gone with the wind" and just love that movie.
''I can't think about that right now. If I do I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. After all - tomorrow is a new day.'' /Scarlett O'Hara/

Have a nice day, everybody :)
-B-

4 comments:

  1. Tenacity is a good word to live by, I found it very useful ......and it works,It means perceverence, keep on trying. thing will work out in the end.
    Hope you get your studying done then you can enjoy the good weather,
    Take care.
    Yvonne.

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  2. It's funny because I had the same experience this year. I tried to go out of my way to be nice but it was just returned in once-over stares and gossip. My best advice is to be nice to YOURSELF first. Even on airplanes they say to put your gas-mask on before the child. It seems like you've figured that out, the hard part is to apply it to your everyday life.

    btw, I love your blog. very interesting.

    -Lou

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  3. Thanks for the comment, my children came up with the name Granny Groupie, Me? I combine concerts with seeing the world home and abroad.
    Yvonne.

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  4. Thanks again for your comment on letter P. it's very kind of you.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete