ok...so maybe you can cure everything with a smile ;D

So yesterday I was feeling kinda sad… but I spent all evening watching awesome movies and they sure did cheer me up.

Plus, special thanks to Elisa and Melynda :) you two make me smile no matter how sad I am. Thank you sooo much for that.

Basically I wanted to watch a bunch of movies, cry a little and think about some stuff… but ended up watching only two movies that totally changed my mood. Why? You might ask…I don’t know ;D well, I know about one of them. It’s the „Mamma Mia”. That movie I could watch 24/7 just because I love ABBA. I love every single song (I’m kinda addicted to that kind of music) and I like to sing along. Plus it’s such a sweet movie, it can cheer me up no matter what.

The other movie I watched was „Stranger than fiction”. If you haven’t seen this one I most certainly suggest you to. It is so awesome.  It simply makes me think about life, the real meaning of it…  I usually watch comedies or romantic comedies, but this is more like… Drama…but I love it. I don’t even know why I like it so much. Can’t really explain. But I think it’s an awesome movie.

So that’s all it takes to cheer me up. Some sweet comments from you, and few amazing movies. Today I feel ok. I still have to deal with few problems and sad stuff, but I feel much better and stronger today. :)

And I promise I’ll write something normal soon ;D

Take care,

-B- 

You can't cure everything with a smile on your face

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like you can't do anything right? well...lately I've been having more and more of those...

Feels like I was born to screw everything up... At the beginning I told myself: "everybody makes mistakes..." but soon enough I ran out of excuses.

Looks like along with the grey weather (it's been raining NON STOP for 22 hours) I'm having a grey week...

I apologize to all of you, but I'm not able to write something normal now. So I'm sorry for that.

But you, however, have a wonderful weekend :)

-B- 

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost

Nothing much happened last week. Except we (Latvia) fired the government! ;D and since I'm 18, and I'm legally able to vote, I did so! I hope something changes after this.

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I had forgotten how relaxing it was to spend holidays at the country side. The fresh air, fields for running with dogs ;D (or running away from dogs ;D ) It was so awesome and I feel totally relaxed. 

I put up an apple fight with my dad (don't worry, we were only throwing the bad apples) and after half an hour with few bruises and hurting fingers we called it a tie.

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Yesterday I came to conclusion... 

Before yesterday, my feelings about my grandma (who lives at the country side) were kinda...mixed. Last two years haven't been so pleasant. Since my grandpa passed away, she has been acting annoying and it came to the point were I didn't want to visit her anymore... She was always picking favorites between us - grandchildren and even the families. No matter what we did for her, we were never good enough as the others. (Even if the others did NOTHING to help her) Plus my grandma was always telling the same every time we visited her. She was asking some  unnecessary questions and talking about annoying things... And she was always talking about how it would be better if she just died. (that was what made me mad the most)

Anyway, before yesterday, I actually had stopped feeling sorry for her...I was kinda angry and I didn't feel the love between us anymore... but then something happened...

I took her to the cemetery to put flowers on my grandpas grave, and she fainted. it was the third time in past three weeks. She fell on her arms and bruised her head against the memorial. 

I have never been more scared in my entire life! I rushed to her, helped her get up and walked her to the bench. She was laughing and saying: "I'm ok..." but you can't even imagine how bad I felt. My heart skipped a beat and I almost fainted next to her...

And it was that moment, that changed everything. Every annoying, hurtful and disappointing thought I had about her just disappeared in that exact moment. No more I felt hurt that she picked favorites between her grandchildren, or that she was acting annoying for two years... Nothing of that matters to me now... At that moment I was so scared, my love for her appeared again, and the only thought I had was how much I love her and that I don't wanna loose her.

I'm glad she's ok. But I'm angry with myself. 

Why does it takes for something bad to happen, till we find lost love in ourselves?

-B- 

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

yeah. Last few days I have been driving... ;D my grandma is already using me as her driver ;D At the beginning it was soo scary to go on the road alone, but I got used to it pretty fast.  Of course the first night I had to listen to a half hour lesson from my dad, about where to drive, how to drive, where the roads are bad...(like I didn't already know it ;DD )

My parents give so much, but they never ask for anything back. And yes, maybe it is good, but I will tell you a story which made me and my sister totally mad.

This summer isn't an exception. My parents will always do whatever it takes to give me and my sister everything we need. Yeah, I spend more of their money and trust then my sister does, but I'm the youngest kid, so I'm allowed to do that :D 

They paid for my driving school and my upcoming trip to Germany. They want us kids to have all amazing experiences we can get. And it is awesome that they do that, but it is also so annoying that they can't accept a gift full of thank yous. 

My sister (being an awesome and thankful kid) sent me money and asked me to do something. I had to put it into an envelope and give it to mom and dad. It was for them. For a trip to Sweden with a cruise ship. And it was like a huge envelope of "thank you mom and dad for always giving me everything and being so awesome"

I thought it was totally nice of her. I obviously can't do that, cause I'm not working, but it was nice of her to give them such ticket to relaxation. 

It all seemed nice, until I passed the envelope to them... 

My dad's reaction was "Wow, thanks, but we are not that poor, we can afford it ourselves..."

I got mad already...

Then my mom said "It is nice, but you know I don't like when you spend your money...on things like this."

I got so damn mad, I can't even explain it. I told my sister this and her reaction was the same as mine. This gift wasn't about being poor or rich, or spending money or something like that. It was about the fact that they always give us, and this was the one time my sister wanted to give something them... And all they needed to do was say THANK YOU VERY MUCH , take the envelope and shut up. but nooo, they couldn't do even that... after I yelled at them and my sister yelled at them, (and I threatened them that my sister won't ever come home if they keep acting like that ;D ) they finally accepted the gift, got over themselves and finally shut up :D 

So now they know that they can't mess with us. And that it is ok not to only give but to take once in a while. :)

Raising parents is so hard... LOL. :D

-B-

If you can dream it, then you can achieve it.

Oh men. Haven't been this happy since I got my first toy car. Except now I can replace it with the real one. I PASSED MY DRIVING EXAM TODAY!! wohoo! watch out world, I'm on the road! lol.

I'm so proud of myself  (mommy and daddy are too;D ) this is my biggest achievement so for. This just shows I can do whatever I want. If I try hard enough, I can achieve anything.

Last week I was busy and tired... Felt like I've lost my inspiration and strength, but boy do I feel awesome now!!! ;D 

I missed all your nonsense and crazy funny stories! I promise I'll read them all, but now I'm gonna go eat some cake and later take my car out for a spin :):) have to celebrate, you know?! :D

Take care everybody :)

-B-  

P.S. my friend David just started a blog,and I'm being a good buddy,so take a look :)

Rainbows apologize for angry skies.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is for some people to say those 3 magical words„I am sorry”? It’s like they think they’ll get shot if they say them, so they simply don’t.

I can say for myself – it is kinda hard to say I’M SORRY. But I’ve said it. And I’ve survived. I think it tells about person so much.Only a strong person can admit its mistakes, regrets and simply admit being wrong and feeling sorry for what have been said or done. 

But it takes a weak person, to not say any word and just hope that everything will fall in its place on its own.  And when I think about it, I realize I’m surrounded by that kind of people.

Not only my friends but also my family have some issues with those 3 words. So many fights would have been resolved much easily if people admitted they’re wrong and sorry. But everyone is so stubborn. They all think they’re not the guilty ones and no one ever say they’re sorry. They just wait til everything is forgotten and forgiven, just like that…

But let me tell you, some fights don’t just go away like that. For me , it’s all it takes. Just say I’M SORRY, mean it, and I’ll forgive you no matter what you’ve done. Cause I know how hard it is to say it. But if some people can’t even do that, then they’re not worthy of my forgiveness.

I know it’s hard to admit you’re wrong, but there will not always be people, who simply forgives. Those people who can’t say they’re sorry, they just think they’re better than everybody else or that they’re never wrong, so why should they apologize. They like when other people reach to them, or rush after them and make things right. But there will come a day, when those nice people will have had enough. And this is one of the main reasons why so many friendships are ruined.

And I can say that I’VE HAD ENOUGH. And this goes straight to people I’m arguing now, or will argue in the future… I will no longer treat you the same, if you can’t simply apologize.

Everyone make mistakes, but it takes good person to admit them and try to fix them.

-B-