Nothing much happened last week. Except we (Latvia) fired the government! ;D and since I'm 18, and I'm legally able to vote, I did so! I hope something changes after this.
I had forgotten how relaxing it was to spend holidays at the country side. The fresh air, fields for running with dogs ;D (or running away from dogs ;D ) It was so awesome and I feel totally relaxed.
I put up an apple fight with my dad (don't worry, we were only throwing the bad apples) and after half an hour with few bruises and hurting fingers we called it a tie.
Yesterday I came to conclusion...
Before yesterday, my feelings about my grandma (who lives at the country side) were kinda...mixed. Last two years haven't been so pleasant. Since my grandpa passed away, she has been acting annoying and it came to the point were I didn't want to visit her anymore... She was always picking favorites between us - grandchildren and even the families. No matter what we did for her, we were never good enough as the others. (Even if the others did NOTHING to help her) Plus my grandma was always telling the same every time we visited her. She was asking some unnecessary questions and talking about annoying things... And she was always talking about how it would be better if she just died. (that was what made me mad the most)
Anyway, before yesterday, I actually had stopped feeling sorry for her...I was kinda angry and I didn't feel the love between us anymore... but then something happened...
I took her to the cemetery to put flowers on my grandpas grave, and she fainted. it was the third time in past three weeks. She fell on her arms and bruised her head against the memorial.
I have never been more scared in my entire life! I rushed to her, helped her get up and walked her to the bench. She was laughing and saying: "I'm ok..." but you can't even imagine how bad I felt. My heart skipped a beat and I almost fainted next to her...
And it was that moment, that changed everything. Every annoying, hurtful and disappointing thought I had about her just disappeared in that exact moment. No more I felt hurt that she picked favorites between her grandchildren, or that she was acting annoying for two years... Nothing of that matters to me now... At that moment I was so scared, my love for her appeared again, and the only thought I had was how much I love her and that I don't wanna loose her.
I'm glad she's ok. But I'm angry with myself.
Why does it takes for something bad to happen, till we find lost love in ourselves?